another big heart, lost.

Father's Day 2010

I struggle with sharing stories of my day-to-day life online, because I don't like to share too much personal information for safety reasons. Sometimes I consider making this private, but at the same time, I love the community.

I feel like I can't move forward without posting this, and it's a very personal one.

I'm writing this on Saturday with a very heavy heart. I'm still in such shock and disbelief. It doesn't seem real yet, but it will hit me so hard at the memorial tomorrow and then next week when I see the rest of our "family" again.

On Wednesday evening, the world lost a wonderful man. Just fourteen months and four days after we lost Billy from a heart attack, we lost Chris the same way. I didn't know Billy as well as everyone else did, but it was still a crushing blow.

I actually met Billy and Chris at the same time when they came over to have dinner at my house in June of 2009. I thought that I was sooo cool because Chris Aaron was coming over to my house, even though I had no idea who he really was, just some musician that my dad really admired. Over the past five and a half years, my dad and Chris played together a lot and became good friends. We would go out with their family for dinner and just hang out. Abi is like the little sister I never had, and Chris and Lisa are my third set of parents. I would even call them Mom and Dad, and they would go along with it, calling me Daughter or Kiddo. I am so blessed to call them my family.

Chris passed away on October 15th. I got the call, and I was just asked if I had heard from Lisa or Abi. I didn't even need to be told more than that, and I just knew and started crying. I called Abi right away and we were just crying and crying. I can't even imagine what she and her mom, brother, and their whole family are going through right now.

I last saw Chris and Lisa just two weeks ago and hung out with them for about 45 minutes before their gig. I was supposed to be seeing them again in another week. I will be seeing Lisa and the family tomorrow, and it's just going to feel so strange. I just don't even have words to describe how I feel. It is so heartbreaking.

It has been so wonderful to see everyone's photographs and memories on Facebook these past few days, and I am so thankful that I have been surrounded by people feeling the same way these pas few nights. Soon we will be joined by even more of our crazy, wonderful family, but it won't be the same.

We love you, Chris, Lisa, Aaron, Abi, and the rest of the family and those feeling the pain.

"'cause when the world gets rough, we've just got to spread our love around." - Chris Aaron, Circumstance

xoxo.